i let myself fade to you
knowing the anchor is not through
it presses upon my hollow chest
no will to fight or protest
it dares me not to cry
as I push back the ache with an empty sigh
my head swirls, words circling, once again falling prey
as the rapture returns with its needful intent to slay
haunted by my own thoughts and the words you slur
from frustration and stubborn pride we both continually stir
resentment and desire to throw it all away, gives us constant whiplash this thing we promised
never to betray
what lies beneath us, the darkness that makes you and I
has always been our savior, never to stray away from or lie
yet we are challenged it seems every day
to embrace what we have, instead slipping further and further away.
i know not what rests in your head
if you’ve willed it away or wished it dead
as for me I cannot explain this bond refusing to break
perhaps fate found me you to cure this ache
or maybe a stepping stone for my soul to mend
from the torture I’ve caused it, unsure how to bend
or perhaps I to you to show you the way
beyond the path you thought you’d stay
or maybe the tool to purge a mind
from all that baggage trailing behind.
so when i let myself numb the world and think of you
the first thought I have is were your words true
from all that we’ve shared
it was always obvious to me just how much we cared
but it’s hard for me to accept that we have failed
after chartering waters neither of us have sailed.
how can we just let it all go after having the courage to let the most darkest pieces of ourselves
emotions can be such a powerful drug
that can force us to push feelings under a rug
or cause us to act in disarray
react or say things we don’t mean to say.
insecurities own us, blind us to what’s really there
prisoners to our minds, stripping us bare.
i know this thing I feel is something all together new.
it’s that thing inside that keeps pulling me to you.
there it is the world, coming back into view
i push my thoughts away again, as I repeatedly do.